Turning the Other Cheek does not mean "Be a Door Mat"

A joke heard the other day. Seems that a fellow was driving down Rt. 132 coming into Hyannis and just as he neared the intersection the light turned yellow, then red, and so he pulled to a stop. Immediately the woman in the car behind begins to lay on her horn, beeping madly at him, then rolling down her window to give him a few choice words, followed by an angry one-fingered salute. The light changes, the man drives on through, and a police car pulls up alongside the woman’s car, lights flashing. The officer asks the woman to exit her vehicle, handcuffs her, and leads her off to jail. After a few hours she is released, and on the way out of the jail she sees the arresting officer and asks him what that was all about. He replied, “Well, you see, I saw the bumper sticker on the car that said “Jesus saves”, and the little bronze fish symbol, and the “What would Jesus do?” sign, and so, judging by the way you were carryin’ on, I just figured that the car had to be stolen.”

            Ouch! A not so gentle reminder that we who profess to follow Jesus, the one who calls us to love our neighbors, are often less than perfect in how we treat one another in our daily lives. We might well ask ourselves, if we have such a hard time in showing love and compassion in the little stuff, how can we expect to show forth the love of Christ in the big stuff, when the real challenges to live faithfully come along – like when we feel under attack by those who consider us their enemies, like when we feel persecuted by others, or put down. And, truth to tell, we sometime look at Jesus’ teachings here and simply disregard them, living as if they do not apply to us. And we do this on two grounds: first, telling ourselves that no one can live that way, that this is an ideal not meant for us and our “real world”; and second, that living by these teachings about loving your enemies, going the extra mile, and turning the other check, is just a recipe for making yourself a doormat, that it is an invitation to abuse and oppression and tyranny, and the world has more than enough of all that, thank you very much.

             As to the first, well, some people actually do live that way, and Jesus was example number one. He not only talked the talk, he walked the walk, right until the very end, where he forgave those who killed him from the cross. Jesus loved everyone, even those who would call themselves his enemies.

            As to the second, we need to take another look at Jesus’ teachings about how to respond to those who would wrong us, and see what he was really saying – that we need to expand upon traditional ways of thinking, go further, and set no limits to our goodness.

            Jesus starts by reminding his hearers of what they had been taught in the past: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’” We need to remember that, as originally taught, this rule was a vast improvement over what had come before, which was unlimited retaliation, the nuclear option – “you put out my eye, I chop off your head.” It is not, in fact, a bad way of putting some boundaries around unacceptable behavior.  It lets us give in to that part of our hard-wiring which, when confronted with danger, urges us to “fight or flight”, but in a limited, controlled way. It can even work on the playground, at least when there are no effective structures in place to ensure that justice will be done, as long as you are big enough and strong enough and have enough buddies to back you up.  But Jesus says limited retaliation is not the way towards a better world for living in societies; as one writer put it, “The only thing an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is good for is creating an eyeless, toothless world.”

But neither does Jesus say, “Go ahead and walk over me,” because he knows that this, too, is not a way towards a better world.

            So what does he say? Let’s take a look about what he says about how to handle what he calls an “evildoer”.

            All three situations Jesus describes are about having one’s rights infringed in a humiliating way. It is important to remember that in that culture these events would all have taken place in public, and that, in this traditional honor/shame culture, the purpose was to insult the other’s honor.

            First, the famous “turn the other cheek” saying. When we imagine a fight, we think of John Wayne rearing back and letting go a roundhouse right to the face of the opponent, but that is not the situation Jesus is talking about – if you can visualize such a blow, you can see it would land on the left cheek. What Jesus is talking about is a back-handed slap, which was what one delivered to another to show contempt for them -- which would hit the right cheek. So look what happens when Jesus says “turn the other cheek” – the victim, in turning his head, makes it impossible for the bully to strike him again. You can imagine the frustration in the face of the bully, as well as the laughs of the onlookers.

            Next, “if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat (the tunic worn next to your skin), give your cloak (the outer garment) as well.”  Everyone would have known that it is just terribly bad form to sue someone when the only assets they have are the clothes on their back, and they realize that if the one who is sued follows Jesus’ advice – strips naked right there in the courtroom – the one who has sued will be a laughingstock and a pariah in the community.

            Finally, “if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also a second mile.” The only ones who could force others to go a mile were the Roman soldiers, who by law could compel the local peasantry to carry their gear for one mile. Resistance would clearly be futile – but what if, after carrying the gear for one mile, you went on carrying it for another mile as well? In this case the soldier whose gear you were carrying would be breaking the law, and liable to discipline from his officers – Jesus’ followers surely chuckled as they imagined a Legionnaire begging for this gear back, running after the peasant in the hopes of avoiding punishment.

            The common thread here is that Jesus is not telling his followers, or us, that the way to a better world is to be door mats for those who would use and abuse and commit injustice and wrong. He is advocating what some have called “a third way”, a way which does not perpetuate the cycle of injustice and violence that comes from either retaliation – an eye for an eye -- or capitulation – walk over me --  but which calls us to envision another way forward.

            A way that might, for instance, involve calling the members of an oppressed, colonized country to spin their own textiles and make their own salt, and through a process of non-violent non-cooperation win their independence from the mightiest the empire the world had yet seen.

A way that might, for instance, involve sitting down at a lunch counter in a Woolworth in Greensboro, North Carolina, or refusing to ride a bus in Selma Alabama, that would eventually lead to the end of racial segregation and discrimination in this country.

A way that might, for instance, involve the formerly imprisoned member of the ANC, then new president of South Africa, persuading black South Africans to get behind the hated nationally rugby team, the Springboks, who went on to defeat New Zeeland for the Rugby World Cup – and thus unifying a nation still divided over the legacy of apartheid.

A way that might, for instance, involve camping out in a central town square in Cairo, Egypt, and refusing to resort to violence or destruction to oust a dictator of thirty years.

A way – and who knows? – that might involve Washington insiders actually working together to solve this country’s economic woes and immense federal budget deficit, and perhaps even compromising on cutting expenses, domestic and military, and raising taxes appropriately.

            What we want is to put limits on our goodness, to be loving towards our family and friends, to enjoy the gratification which comes from retaliation, to live on our terms. Jesus calls us to do more, to love the way God loves, choosing to act with love and compassion towards all, without discrimination, and doing the hard work of striving for justice, work which requires us to think a little harder and perhaps risk a bit more boldly.

            You have heard it said . . .  and yet Jesus says….

We get to choose which path we will risk.

May God grant that we choose wisely, and so grow into the maturity and wholeness which just could, by the grace of God, be our lot. Amen.