Out of Step

Being out of step, I learned at a tender age, can be an embarrassing, even dangerous thing.

Perhaps because my mother saw that I was an awkward, gawky child, and perhaps because she wished I might somehow learn to move with even a modicum of grace, she signed me up for the 4^th grade dance class at the local church. So off I went, penny loafers, newly-ironed trousers, dress shirt and tie, a kid who would rather have been anywhere else in the world but on the hardwood floor at the parish house trying to learn to waltz and fox trot with – yech! – a girl.

It was an order of magnitude too complicated – worrying about what Betsy would think about my sweaty palms, trying not to step on her feet, straining to hear the shouted instructions, trying to keep a beat in my head and feet at the same time. For awhile I thought being out of step was only a danger to others, to my partners who suffered from crushed toes and bruised shins, from those who I bumped into. But one day I learned otherwise as we were taught to square dance.

I admit that I was worse than usual, never could figure out the difference between a promenade and a do-si-do, which might explain why Amy just stood there tapping her toe and glaring at me, refusing to dance. Undeterred, when the caller yelled out over his fiddle “twirl yer partner”, I obediently extended my arm and moved forward towards her, seeking to engage her arm. Next thing I knew I was flat on my back, looking at the ceiling and wondering why my head hurt so much, and how a tiny 4^th grade girl could have picked up kung fu moves at that age.

The cost of being out of step.

I haven’t learned much. Try to follow a guy (God, even tell people about that guy!), who was so out of step that he ended up on a different type of hard wood; who would tell anyone who would listen that true success comes not from fleeing suffering and death, but becoming personally and actively involved in the suffering of the world; who had the crazy idea that to lose your life for others is to gain it.

Guess I really haven’t learned much.